Discussion with my Support Provider

My Support Provider and mentor, Linda Williams, has always been helpful to me. She is a great resource person. We always share ideas and resources. She has been teaching for 30 years, and she is still doing great.

Lately, I have been in an emotional roller coaster. I am happy one day, then sad the next day. I am overwhelmed with what's going on in my life - personal and career-wise. My other class is still not controlled. Some boys are still giving us teachers a hard time. I can tell they are just immature (They are born later in the year.). Many days, my energy just waned going to this other class, but I should not be troubled. I have to be strong, consistent, and firm. My co-teachers are also getting impatient, and we always tell each other, "One more month...one more month..." I think students are getting tired too. They have been at school for 9 months, and they need a break too.

Well, I still have more enjoyable things for the kids to do. I cannot lose energy. I cannot get tired. Learning has not ended. :)

Disciplinarian

Today, in my class with Dr. Brown, I was asked what my teaching style is, and I answered right away, "I am a disciplinarian!" Well, this year, I am.

As I mentioned previously, my co-teacher's homeroom class is a difficult one behaviorally. It was hard for us to have them settle and focus on the task at hand. I am actually a fun teacher, I do a variety of creative things in class to accommodate different students' needs, and it was difficult for me to get to my goal every day when my students are not paying attention.

So I decided to spend some time disciplining them. I have to do it everyday, then I will do it. I learned in a parenting class last year that I have to be intentional in my dealings with my own children, and that advice is also applicable to my students. I cannot just take this for granted because I do not want to suffer at the end of the day. I decided that my class goes over the class rules and my expectations everyday before I teach, just to set the tone of the class. I want the students to feel that I am serious in their class, we could have fun by following the rules, and they are in school to learn.

It has worked so far! Being intentional is effective. I love these kids, and so I am disciplining them.

Writing a reflection

     Today, I turned in my lesson plan with reflection on it. I chose Science. I have always liked Science as a child, and I am excited about this lesson about classification of living organisms. As I went writing my lesson plan, I experienced difficulty with it. It has been awhile since I last made a detailed one. It has been a while since I last sat down and really went through the nitty-gritty of my lesson plan. In the five years that I taught here in the US (same school), I felt like lesson planning was just natural for me. I already knew what to do. I already knew how to engage the students. It feels good though that I was able to sit down and really think about the lesson. I told myself, "Whew! I cannot do this everyday and every single subject I teach in 5th grade!" But as a teacher, I have to think through all my lesson plans. Sometimes, we teachers just go and go, attack and attack, without really taking some time to digest what we're about to do. Then, we make mistakes and sometimes it is not easy to fix them.
   
      Then I wrote the reflection after I taught the lesson. I did not know how to start it (very pathetic!). I know the good and bad points that are worthy to be discussed, but one should not just breeze through a reflection. One should not just rush it. It takes sometime to think about it. "You think you're done, but you're not really done" keeps ringing in my ears. These are the exact words I tell my students after a given task. Now I am telling it to myself. So I went outside for some breathing exercises, looked at the trees, and went back inside to face the computer. Now my mind is working, my thoughts were pouring. Now we're talking.

      Ah, life of a teacher! Being reflective is actually not easy. It needs time and place. I cannot just rush through it. I cannot just take it for granted.

I still love teaching!

Today, I was prepared to teach "How to write a personal narrative" to my 5th graders. I photocopied samples of elementary narratives, showed them to my students, read them together in class, and went about how to do it. 

While I was in the midst of asking them questions on their thoughts of each story, many were eager to share. They compared and contrasted the stories, noticed the difference in writing style, felt the writers' feelings and positions, and empathized with them. One student even cried because he remembered his grandpa who just died a few weeks ago. There was a personal narrative I shared titled "Grandpa, Chaz, and Me." These emotions are what make narratives meaningful. They are real-life stories, and ten-year olds have stories to tell. 

When the students were brainstorming which story of their life they would like to share, some of them got stuck. Others told me they do not have anything important in their lives. One boy even said, "Mrs. Glaze, we are just 10 years old. Our life is just short. We do not have much." I widely grinned. I thought, "This is a teachable moment. Don't mess up, Rica." I told them that all lives are interesting, and each has a good story to tell. I encouraged them to think about their firsts - first piano recital, first airplane ride, first trip to the dentist, first time you saw your brother/sister, first time to try strange food, first trip to Disneyland, etc. My examples opened their eyes! They got the "Eureka" moment! That particular boy wrote down, "The Day I Sprained my Ankle." 

I love teaching. There are so many teachable moments. I love it when my students get hungry for knowledge. I love it when I see their eyes thirsting for answers. I love it when they ask questions. I just love it. 

What a tiring day!

I am co-teaching with my fellow 5th grade teacher, Ms. Whitaker. I teach Science and English to our 5th grade classes, and she teachers Math and Social Studies. I meet her class everyday for English and twice a week for Science.

This school year has been interesting. Our classes are not balanced in everything! She has a very active class, where I have the calm one. Her class is also lower academically than mine. My class always complete tasks on time, and my students always engage in class discussions. Her class is not very cooperative, and has a lot of talkers. Her students get distracted very easily. Needless to say, our classes have a difference of night and day.

Today was one of those challenging days. When I entered her class for Science, they were already noisy, and so I waited until everybody has settled. I started teaching, and I could find myself stopping every few minutes waiting for some students to settle down. Many were passing notes, some were facing their classmates behind them, and some were even writing. 30 minutes later, they were still very distracted. I did not lack reminding them to put things away, stop talking, face the board, and even "I really appreciate ____, ___, and ___  for keeping her eyes on me" every five minutes. They were getting more out of control when we almost ended. We did not even finish the lesson. I wanted them to listen to a rap song about cells to make their studying easier. They just made fun of it.

I told them that it seems like they already know the lesson, and they do not need me anymore to teach them. So I told them that starting next meeting, I will just let them read the lesson, then we'll have a quiz after UNTIL they learn how to respect their teachers. I was just upset, I did not feel like I am needed. I felt bad actually over what I told them. I felt like it was punitive.

Hours later, I realized that I really needed to be true to my words. I have to implement what I said, although it would be hard for me NOT to teach. I discussed this with Ms. Whitaker, and she is supporting me with the "punishment" I told her class. I told her that after this "process," we are going to lead the kids to make a contract with us about their behavior. We just finished that story about "The Contract" in Reading class, and it would be timely to implement it.

Sigh. I still keep on thinking, was that the best thing to say to the students? Was it punitive? Was it a teachable moment? That class is really difficult. I keep on praying that God will give me strength everyday as I face that class.

Tomorrow will be a better day, hopefully.